The First Kiss is the Deepest
by LyingUnder-BlueMoons
Summary: Lily needs inspiration, but she doesn't exactly love where she finds it.


DISCLAIMER: I don't own RFR. Dur. If I did, why would I be writing fanfics about it? No, I'd be prancing around the set, writing myself into all the Ray love scenes ...

The First Kiss is the Deepest

Lily Randall sighed, pushing open the door of Mickey's and adjusting her guitar strap around her body. She had been uninspired for over a week now, unable to write anything that was worthy for a second glance. RFR desperately needed a new single, and Ray, Travis and Robbie were counting on her ... and she didn't work well under pressure. As hard as she tried, Shady Lane simply couldn't find anything quite fantastic enough to be the subject for her next single.

Plopping herself down on a stool, she noticed a couple on a couch in front of her going through the motions of what seemed to be a first kiss. The shy smiles, the awkward silences, the quiet whisperings of final, disappearing doubts; all signs of a couple finally kissing, finally doing what their hearts desired.

"Love, love, like an undying dove ..." she sang unenthusiastically, strumming a few notes on the guitar. With another, heavier sigh, she picked herself up and walked around to the other side of the couch, nonchalantly trying to get a view of something other than the back of the couples heads. She got around just in time to see their lips touch, passionately, for the first time ... and she stopped, dead in her tracks.

Turning around abruptly, Lily ran from the shop as quickly as her guitar would let her. As much as she closed her eyes and shook her head, the vision of Ray and Grace's first kiss wouldn't leave. It was burned int her memory, destined to haunt her forever. Throwing herself don on the sidewalk, Shady finally let the tears come, streaming hot and fast down her cheeks. After several minutes of collecting strange looks from passerby with her relentless sobbing, she finally controlled herself to whisper, "At least you've got your song, Lil."

_------_

_I could have had your love_

_We could have had it all_

_You told me how you felt_

_And I carelessly let you fall_

_But now that I'm without you_

_I feel lost and all-alone_

_Cause it's only when I'm in your arms_

_That I feel like I'm home_

_You know, my love, I saw your kiss_

_And something inside me died_

_And now all that I feel for you_

_Must be locked away inside_

_Because, you see, I've missed my chance_

_And a replacement's come along_

_And though you're with me in my dreams_

_In reality you've moved on_

_And though you're with me in my dreams_

_In reality you've moved on_

Travis clicked the "off" button on the CD player, and all three boy stared, dumbstruck, at Lily. After a generous period of silence, Question Mark remembered to make a closing statement, and the earphones came off.

"Lil," Travis said quietly, "that was amazing." Robbie nodded in agreement, but Ray stayed quiet. Everyone began to go through the motions of leaving, no one saying another word about the song. When everyone was ready to leave, Lily told them to head over to Mickey's without her, that she'd catch up. Ray hung back too, and waited until Travis had shut the door behind himself to speak.

"So you saw us?" Looking down at her feet and playing stupid, Lily walked away and replied,

"What do you mean? Saw who?"

"Don't do this, Lil. Did you see me and Grace kiss, or not?" A silent tear escaped her eyes, and she nodded. "I ... I'm sorry, Lily. But what was I supposed to do? You didn't want me, and that hurt. But I couldn't sit around just dreaming of you forever, you know? So I tried to move on, tried to find someone new ... a replacement, as you so gently put it ... but I couldn't, Lily, I just _couldn't_. There was no replacement for you. But then," he smiled shyly, "irony of ironies, you introduced me to Grace. And I think ... I think I love her, Shady Lane."

Backing up, she shook her head. "Don't ... don't do this to me, Ray. Not now ... that I finally realize ..."

"Realize what?"

"I love you, Ray!" she screamed, bursting into tears and running from the studio. Ray stood, staring helplessly at the door for a while ... then went home to call Grace.

------

Now, contrary to popular belief, not all stories end happily. Lily's tears did not win back Ray's love, nor did they sway his feelings for Grace for more than a brief second. And though this story doesn't end happily, life doesn't have to be that way ... don't let true love pass you by ... you're not always guaranteed it back.

Okay, how was that?? Reviews very welcome ... tell me what you thought!!


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